1 00:00:07,950 --> 00:00:11,330 Elizabeth, want to play softball? I don't feel much like it right now, 2 00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,750 What's the matter? 3 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,309 Well, Friday night's the class dance, and I don't have anybody to go with. 4 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:17,850 Why don't you go by yourself? 5 00:00:18,350 --> 00:00:20,950 Without a date? Are you kidding? I couldn't do that. 6 00:00:21,570 --> 00:00:23,410 All right. Are you going to ask? 7 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:27,890 Nicholas, I don't ask. I have to wait to be asked. 8 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:31,630 Okay. How long are you going to wait? 9 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,510 With my luck, forever. Lately, I can't even get arrested. 10 00:00:35,180 --> 00:00:37,440 You mean you have to get arrested just to get a date? 11 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,580 No, no. 12 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:45,040 You see, getting arrested, well, it's a figure of speech, you know, like... Boy, 13 00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:49,100 if you have to get arrested just to get a date, I'd rather be a bachelor. 14 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:21,680 Oh, rats. 15 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,120 Elizabeth. I'm helping Mary. 16 00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:29,320 I'm helping with the other end. I don't think you're tall enough to reach, 17 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,620 Nicholas, but thanks anyway. 18 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,520 Testing. One, two, three. Testing. Tommy, can you give me a hand, please? 19 00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:38,060 I can't. I'm testing. One, two, three. Elizabeth. 20 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:39,440 Ready for some more. 21 00:02:39,940 --> 00:02:41,120 I'm helping Mary. 22 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,320 Testing. One, two, three. Testing. 23 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:44,520 Okay. 24 00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:50,930 Nicholas, I think you're a little too small for this kind of work. 25 00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:53,810 Hi, guys. Hi, Judy. 26 00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,130 What's that? 27 00:02:58,490 --> 00:03:01,170 This is the ceremonial urn. 28 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:06,970 See, Nicholas, tonight Dad's going to take the mortgage, which after 25 years 29 00:03:06,970 --> 00:03:09,550 all paid up, and he's going to place it in the urn. 30 00:03:10,070 --> 00:03:13,970 And then he will ignite it, and the house will be ours, free and clear. 31 00:03:14,270 --> 00:03:15,270 Yeah, but what's that? 32 00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:17,730 Well, it's all a walk. 33 00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:21,070 A Chinese frog pen. 34 00:03:21,730 --> 00:03:22,770 Doesn't have any butter. 35 00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,350 Nicholas! I'm helping Jody! 36 00:03:30,910 --> 00:03:34,610 And then Elizabeth, who must have been all of three at the time, came walking 37 00:03:34,610 --> 00:03:36,130 along the beach carrying a crab. 38 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:39,530 She walked over to Tom, who's lying there stretched out, and the son says, 39 00:03:39,590 --> 00:03:42,270 Daddy. Drops the crab right in his stuffed celery. 40 00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:46,290 By the way, where is the lord of the manor? Stuffing celery. 41 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:47,730 Oh, God. 42 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,080 Look what I have, everybody. Little happy -happies for you all. 43 00:03:52,420 --> 00:03:55,560 Tom, Abby, I want you to meet Hank. This is the boss I've been complaining 44 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:56,560 about. 45 00:03:58,260 --> 00:03:59,260 Hi, hi. 46 00:03:59,580 --> 00:04:00,680 Oh, hi, David. 47 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:04,700 Hi. I'm sorry I'm late. I got hung up. 48 00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:08,600 You know how it is. When you work behind a desk, you can't always leave when the 49 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,600 whistle blows. 50 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,660 Thank you, thank you. I knew you'd understand. 51 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,060 All right, let's get this show on the road, okay? 52 00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:24,180 Now, you ready? Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Bradford Mortgage Burning 53 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,180 Party. 54 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:34,480 For the past 25 long years, on the first of every month, 55 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:39,100 we have made our little, should I say little, our big mortgage payment to the 56 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:45,820 bank. And now, ladies and gentlemen, after 25 long, hard years, this place, 57 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:46,820 as it is, 58 00:04:47,270 --> 00:04:50,870 is finally and completely ours! 59 00:04:57,950 --> 00:05:03,530 And to celebrate this very festive occasion, we have brought to you direct 60 00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:10,330 upstairs that wonderful little Tommy Bradford and his big brother David 61 00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:13,250 singing for you a little song, a little ditty. 62 00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:16,090 that should be very appropriate for the occasion. 63 00:05:16,370 --> 00:05:18,030 Take it away, Tommy and David! 64 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,130 Well, 65 00:05:22,510 --> 00:05:25,950 this here is a song about a house and the people that came there to live. 66 00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:31,750 When Tom and Joan found the little old barn of a place All kinds of windows and 67 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:38,230 lots of empty space A big backyard and a roof That leaked like a still 68 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:44,660 Joan says this is the place for us and Tommy the fella to put up a fuss, but he 69 00:05:44,660 --> 00:05:46,480 says, honey, I got one little doubt. 70 00:05:47,300 --> 00:05:50,980 Though it's good to have some spares, what are we going to do with all them 71 00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:51,980 rooms upstairs? 72 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:58,560 But Joan just smiles and says, we'll work something out. 73 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,680 So it's four and a half. 74 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,290 © BF -WATCH TV 2021 75 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:20,090 © 76 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,650 BF -WATCH TV 2021 77 00:06:39,660 --> 00:06:42,680 And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for. 78 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:45,440 May we have the mortgage, please? 79 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:47,740 Nicholas! 80 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,460 Now! Now! 81 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:59,500 Now, ladies and gentlemen, as you see, we have here the 25 -year 82 00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:00,500 -old mortgage. 83 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:06,140 I want you to watch closely as I put the mortgage into the silver plate. 84 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:12,880 We then take a match thusly, and you are going to be amazed at what happens. 85 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:21,560 Seriously, I remember the first time that Joan and I ever saw this house. 86 00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:26,460 We were sitting in the car right out front, and we just sat in the car, and 87 00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:27,540 stared at the house. 88 00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:32,220 It needed a paint job, and there was much more money than we could afford. 89 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,260 But somehow... 90 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:39,720 Gosh, I don't know how we did it, but we did scrape up the down payment. And we 91 00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,500 got it painted. I mean, it took a full summer of weekends. 92 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,740 And by August 1st, it was half green and half white. 93 00:07:50,020 --> 00:07:54,040 But then, alas, the plumbing backed up. 94 00:07:55,360 --> 00:08:00,320 $600 worth and three weeks of hard work at eating off paper plates. 95 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:02,980 What? 96 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:09,740 It's 25 years later now, and the house still needs a little painting, 97 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:15,860 and the plumbing still isn't terrific, but it's ours. 98 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:23,080 It would be so nice if... 99 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,600 Congratulations, Tom. It's all yours. 100 00:08:35,700 --> 00:08:40,919 Have I 101 00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:47,740 told you how lovely you 102 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:48,740 look tonight? 103 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:50,440 Thanks, Matt. 104 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:54,520 Oh, David, the song was so good. 105 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:55,779 The song? 106 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:57,060 That was a verbal history. 107 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,880 It was kind of like the Bradford version of Roots, huh? 108 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:01,869 You gotta hear this. 109 00:09:01,870 --> 00:09:02,870 Merle Haggard's calling. 110 00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:07,310 It's no big thing. I just think you and Tommy should consider singing at the 111 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:08,310 Spectrum. 112 00:09:09,410 --> 00:09:12,990 Spectrum? No, wait, that's the big time. People like Roy Clark and Bonnie Raitt 113 00:09:12,990 --> 00:09:16,110 play there. Every Monday night, the Spectrum has a hoot night. Anybody that 114 00:09:16,110 --> 00:09:17,310 wants to can get up and perform. 115 00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:20,210 You'd be surprised at the talent that's been discovered there. 116 00:09:20,870 --> 00:09:21,870 Are you really serious? 117 00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:25,570 The owner's a good buddy of mine. Just pick a Monday night. Let me know. 118 00:09:25,870 --> 00:09:26,849 You're on. 119 00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:27,850 Let me know. 120 00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,330 Hey. 121 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,260 Hey, you don't think we could... What if... We could get some exposure? 122 00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:35,460 Maybe cut an album. 123 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,500 Make a lot of bread. 124 00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:40,660 Groupies. A lot of bread. 125 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,180 Lots of groupies. 126 00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:48,940 Any calls? 127 00:09:59,980 --> 00:10:01,540 Did you find it? I think maybe. 128 00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:03,920 Take a look at this measurement along the south wall. 129 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,640 See what they did? 130 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,720 They drew it as one length, but they listed it as another. 131 00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:12,020 Son of a gun. 132 00:10:12,660 --> 00:10:14,040 Geez, I'm glad you caught that. 133 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,140 You know, that could have cost a lot of money. 134 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,000 Hey, any news on the test? 135 00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:20,780 No. 136 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,160 Nervous? I breezed right through it. Piece of cake. 137 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,200 Oh, you're a better man than me, my boy. 138 00:10:26,620 --> 00:10:30,020 I studied for that thing for three solid months. I was a wreck waiting for the 139 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:31,520 results. Yeah, remember. 140 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:35,820 It was just before Emily had her first kid, you know. And I was working out at 141 00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:36,820 Crescent Junction. 142 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:39,800 And one day, one of the guys comes running out. He says, hey, Ben. He says, 143 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,840 Emily just had a baby. 144 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,020 I said, that's nice. 145 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,120 But ain't news about my contractor's license. 146 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,780 Wait a minute. I think it's the mailman. I'll be right back. 147 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:34,380 Hey, Tommy, take it easy on the door. We own the place now. David's dropped out 148 00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:35,159 of the act. 149 00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,059 He did what? 150 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:38,900 He said he wasn't going to get up on stage and make a fool of himself. 151 00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:40,320 He can't do that. 152 00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:44,080 Mary, he can't do it if he wants to. He's an adult now. He can choose his own 153 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,320 actions. You call copping out on Tommy like that being an adult? 154 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:52,380 She's right, Dad. I mean, the show must go on. The show is going on. With or 155 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,880 without David, I'm performing at the Spectrum Monday night. 156 00:11:55,460 --> 00:11:56,760 You sure about that, son? 157 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:00,040 David can chicken out if he wants to, but I can handle it myself. 158 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,220 Back pounding nails when he flunked his exam. 159 00:12:10,460 --> 00:12:12,020 Exam? What exam? 160 00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:15,200 For his contractor's license. You mean he didn't tell you? 161 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,140 No. That's typical. 162 00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:18,960 Close to the chest all the way. 163 00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,740 You see, I got more work than I can handle, so I made a deal with David. You 164 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:25,880 your contractor's license, work for me for a while as my assistant, and then 165 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:26,880 subcontract for me. 166 00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,400 You mean the job was only temporary? 167 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,460 Afraid so. It was all dependent upon him getting that license. 168 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:33,680 So he's back on construction. 169 00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:38,660 Well, I wasn't about to lose a worker like him, so I got him back swinging a 170 00:12:38,660 --> 00:12:39,940 hammer instead of swinging a pencil. 171 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,320 Michelle. 172 00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:02,050 You're taking me to lunch? 173 00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:03,970 Why? I mean, what's the occasion? 174 00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:06,130 Oh, because it's a pretty day. 175 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,630 Because I just got a raise. 176 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,310 Who needs an occasion? 177 00:13:10,950 --> 00:13:14,350 The real reason is, if I pay, I get to pick the place. 178 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:17,510 I see he's already taken you to his favorite little spot. 179 00:13:17,790 --> 00:13:22,230 The Jalisco Hot Dog Pit. Right, and that's what it is to the pit, right? 27 180 00:13:22,230 --> 00:13:23,970 brands of heartburn on a bun. 181 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:27,110 What? Wait a minute. You mean you really don't like that place? 182 00:13:27,330 --> 00:13:29,270 I would like to sneak out in the dead of night. 183 00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,530 and burn that place to the ground as a public service. 184 00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:35,890 That's a good idea. Not even the Polish sausage with the chili and the 185 00:13:35,890 --> 00:13:37,650 sauerkraut? I'd love that. 186 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,590 I have a test tomorrow on the central nervous system, and my central nervous 187 00:13:57,590 --> 00:13:59,490 system is beginning to fray around the edges. 188 00:13:59,930 --> 00:14:01,650 Elizabeth, I've got to get my act together. 189 00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:05,710 Yeah, couldn't you get it together a little more quietly, like maybe in 190 00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:09,010 Look, when the Eagles play, people pay to listen. 191 00:14:09,330 --> 00:14:10,209 I'm paying. 192 00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:11,370 I'm paying. Believe me. 193 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,230 How's it going? 194 00:14:14,470 --> 00:14:16,010 A little frayed around the edges. 195 00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,030 I could really use the other guitar. 196 00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:19,730 David? Yeah? 197 00:14:20,550 --> 00:14:22,570 Well, listen, I'll just go to the library. It's okay. 198 00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:25,430 Oh, hey, I don't want to drive you out of the house. It's okay. 199 00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:26,810 I'll drive myself. 200 00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:32,710 Library will be better for nervous system. 201 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:35,830 Okay. 202 00:14:46,410 --> 00:14:47,810 Hey! Hey! 203 00:14:49,190 --> 00:14:52,960 I'd just like to say... that I like music, and I like what you're playing. 204 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,380 you've been playing the same thing for the last 40 minutes, so please try 205 00:14:55,380 --> 00:14:57,120 something different before I get violent. 206 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,440 Girls. 207 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:02,760 Yeah. 208 00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:05,980 Coming. 209 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:12,200 Hi. What? 210 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,020 I want to talk to you about Tommy. 211 00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:19,580 Okay, David, if you'd rather have an argument with me out here on your front 212 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:20,820 porch, that's just fine with me. 213 00:15:21,940 --> 00:15:23,640 You know, Tommy will get over it. 214 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:26,000 Oh, the spectrum thing, sure. 215 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,700 I was thinking more of Tommy's opinion of his older brother. 216 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,020 Aren't you being a little dramatic? 217 00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:33,300 I don't think so. 218 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,000 David, Tommy looks up to you. You're his idol. 219 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:40,120 Oh, well, that's his problem. I don't remember applying for the job. 220 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:44,900 David, come off. Look, Mary, if Tommy wants to get up there and make a fool of 221 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:45,900 himself, let him. 222 00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:49,570 I got better things to do with my time. David, you only failed one loud details. 223 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:50,710 What's the big deal? 224 00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:55,070 I got cut down once this week, and I don't need it again. 225 00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:56,830 Just go. 226 00:15:57,530 --> 00:15:58,530 I'm sorry. 227 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,790 Go be sorry somewhere else, okay? 228 00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:04,730 Yeah. 229 00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:14,470 And then the girl says, okay, but what will we do with your guitar? 230 00:16:21,020 --> 00:16:24,860 When Mr., no, let's drop the Mr. stuff. 231 00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:30,200 When the emcee said that this was the first time on stage for me, actually, 232 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,640 wasn't quite the truth. You see, I have worked on a stage before. 233 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:35,240 Riding shotgun. 234 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:47,540 Oh, hi, Dad. I was just polishing my opening monologue for tomorrow night. 235 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:48,740 Yes, I heard. 236 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,220 Oh. What do you think? 237 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,600 Oh, well, to tell you the truth, I was a little weak. 238 00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:59,940 You see, telling jokes is an art. It requires eye contact with the audience 239 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:02,740 pausing at the right moment, setting up the punchline. 240 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,720 It also requires good material. 241 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,160 Oh, I've got plenty of that. Here, sit down. I want to try one out on you. 242 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,520 You see, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the Spectrum tonight. 243 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:17,560 I was cruising along and all of a sudden I hear all of these lights and sirens. 244 00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:22,500 And then this guy pulls me over, gets out, comes over and sticks a size 12 245 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:26,319 against my vehicle, knocks it over, takes out this little black book and 246 00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:28,920 to write me up for peddling without a license. 247 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,700 What's the matter? Didn't you get it? 248 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:37,080 I got it. 249 00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:38,680 Would you like it back? 250 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,120 No, no, you don't understand. 251 00:17:42,469 --> 00:17:43,610 That's another little Tommy. 252 00:17:43,970 --> 00:17:47,010 If you have to explain the joke, that means that it didn't work. 253 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:48,730 But keep polishing it up. 254 00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:50,170 It'll get better. 255 00:17:51,670 --> 00:17:52,730 Shucky Bradford. 256 00:18:01,910 --> 00:18:03,890 Yeah, at least you like my jokes. 257 00:18:04,910 --> 00:18:06,810 Mind if I come in? Yeah, come on in. 258 00:18:08,210 --> 00:18:10,670 Mary, I want to try a joke out on you. Sit down. 259 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:14,600 See, a funny thing happened to me on the way to the Spectrum tonight. 260 00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:18,640 I was cruising along, and all of a sudden I hear all these lights and 261 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:23,300 And then this guy pulls me over, gets out of his car and comes over. David, 262 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,300 not trying to interfere. 263 00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:29,140 I agree that you're old enough to... Come on, I'm not asking you to perform. 264 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:33,660 I'm not asking you to perform. I'm just asking you to come down there and sit in 265 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,260 the audience and give Tommy moral support by your presence. 266 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,160 Dad, I understand your point, but I've got plans for tonight. 267 00:18:39,460 --> 00:18:40,840 Well, plans can be changed. 268 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,670 Look, Dad, I'm sorry. There's someone here. 269 00:19:16,910 --> 00:19:17,910 What's not fair? 270 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,030 I ought to be allowed to go, too. 271 00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:23,690 Oh, no, we've been over this before. You're too young. 272 00:19:24,090 --> 00:19:25,590 But what about Tommy and Elizabeth? 273 00:19:25,910 --> 00:19:28,830 They aren't grown up, either. Suddenly we have to draw the line somewhere. 274 00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:30,830 Boy, that stinks. 275 00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:34,410 I couldn't agree more. But guess what? There's a brighter side. 276 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:37,570 Abby and I are going to stay home and babysit with you. 277 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:39,170 I'm not a baby. 278 00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:42,050 Oh, no, of course not. That's just a figure of speech. 279 00:19:42,870 --> 00:19:44,950 Like, um... Like getting arrested? 280 00:19:45,610 --> 00:19:47,650 Like... No, I don't think so. 281 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:53,670 Look, suppose we change the word. Instead of babysit, we make it 282 00:19:53,670 --> 00:19:55,790 boy -sit. 283 00:19:57,470 --> 00:19:59,850 No, that's sexist. Child -sit. 284 00:20:02,030 --> 00:20:03,030 Kid -sit? 285 00:20:03,170 --> 00:20:07,350 Hey, kid -sit. How about kid -sit? 286 00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:09,230 Hmm, kid -sit. 287 00:20:09,570 --> 00:20:10,890 Maybe kids. 288 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:19,020 Yes, the ones who really need the light are the ones who turn away. 289 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,820 Open up. 290 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,140 Baby, won't you open up? 291 00:20:26,020 --> 00:20:27,160 Open up. 292 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:34,180 Baby, won't you open? Baby, won't you open up? Ah, darling, now, baby, won't 293 00:20:34,180 --> 00:20:36,500 open? Baby, won't you open up? 294 00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:44,790 $1 ,500 rent. 295 00:20:45,530 --> 00:20:47,690 No, no, the rent is $175. 296 00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:51,530 Yeah, but the card says with the hotel it's $1 ,500. 297 00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:55,610 Quick, lend me $5 ,000. 298 00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:57,810 I can't do that. It's against the rules. 299 00:20:58,250 --> 00:21:01,470 Oh, come on now. You're not going to let a little eight -year -old kid wipe me 300 00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:02,470 out. 301 00:21:04,090 --> 00:21:06,050 Thank you, Merv, baby. That was wonderful. 302 00:21:06,470 --> 00:21:11,070 And now, for the first time on any stage, let's give a great big spectrum 303 00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:12,270 welcome to... 304 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:13,620 Tommy Bradford. 305 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:27,820 Uh, I suppose you're all kind of wondering how I got on the spectrum bill 306 00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:32,720 tonight. Actually, this was my prize for placing second in a local talent 307 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:39,260 contest. Uh, the winner got a two -week subscription to the Atlantic Monthly. 308 00:21:39,460 --> 00:21:41,480 But seriously, folks, 309 00:21:42,270 --> 00:21:46,510 This is really a step up from the last place I played. Well, you talk about 310 00:21:46,510 --> 00:21:49,510 dives. They had a dime cover charge to keep out the rip -raff. 311 00:21:51,810 --> 00:21:55,990 No, the spectrum is really beautiful, and I'm really glad to be here. It's 312 00:21:55,990 --> 00:22:01,450 really where it's at. One other thing before I start. This song was originally 313 00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:06,390 arranged for two people with the other guy playing the guitar. So if it sounds 314 00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:10,650 like I hit a wrong chord or I'm singing a harmony, you're probably hearing 315 00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:11,650 right. 316 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,980 Hey, darling, don't clap like that. He's liable to tell another joke. 317 00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:32,900 Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. 318 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:34,780 That's okay. I was just warming him up. 319 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,000 Are you ready? Yeah. 320 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:49,440 When you're down and troubled And you need some 321 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:53,260 loving care And nothing 322 00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:05,420 Hey, 323 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,260 which one of you boys is Sonny and which one of you is Cher? 324 00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:11,440 Hey, why don't you stuff a plug in it so the rest of us can enjoy the show, huh? 325 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,540 Well, how are you going to enjoy the show with them two up there singing like 326 00:23:14,540 --> 00:23:15,540 that? 327 00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:20,380 Hey. 328 00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,420 Those guys are trying real hard up there, so how about you giving them a 329 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,440 huh? 330 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:29,680 Oh, how about you give me a break? How about you getting your hands off me? 331 00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,560 hey, hey, now come on, don't play hard to get, because I've seen you over there 332 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,539 giving me the eye. 333 00:23:33,540 --> 00:23:34,560 Giving you the eye? 334 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,780 Could you repeat that last part, please? 335 00:24:40,860 --> 00:24:42,080 You're not going to believe this. 336 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,640 I have seven kids in jail. 337 00:24:56,060 --> 00:24:58,980 Now, I shouldn't get nervous. There must be a logical explanation. 338 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,920 Only what could be logical about seven kids being in jail? 339 00:25:02,380 --> 00:25:03,760 Maybe they got the wrong Bradford. 340 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:06,900 How many Bradfords in Sacramento have seven children? 341 00:25:07,180 --> 00:25:09,080 Oh, yeah, that's right. 342 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,600 Well, anyway, they've got them in two different facilities. 343 00:25:13,020 --> 00:25:18,040 So if you could go down to Juvenile Hall and pick up Nancy and Elizabeth and 344 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:22,200 Tommy, and then I could go over to Adult Hall or Senior, whatever they call it, 345 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:23,220 and pick up the rest of them. 346 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,500 Dad, can I go with you? Oh, no, no, we have to get a babysitter for him. Kid 347 00:25:27,500 --> 00:25:28,500 sitter. A kid sitter, right. 348 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,060 Okay, let me see now. 349 00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:39,300 Backpack. You'll never find it in Yellow Pages. Well, I never had to hire a 350 00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,640 babysitter, a kidsitter before. 351 00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:44,660 I always used one of the kids, except once. David was a little boy, and we got 352 00:25:44,660 --> 00:25:47,180 the person across the street. It was a cousin of the people that live across 353 00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:49,380 street. I've got her. I've got her. She's one of my students, and she'll be 354 00:25:49,380 --> 00:25:52,280 perfect. Well, I don't know if I'll find it in Yellow Pages. What are you 355 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:53,099 looking for now? 356 00:25:53,100 --> 00:25:54,100 A bail bondsman. 357 00:26:05,870 --> 00:26:09,590 here almost an hour. Well, let's hope Mr. Sampson is more confidential and 358 00:26:09,590 --> 00:26:10,850 sympathetic than he is prompt. 359 00:26:11,150 --> 00:26:12,150 Mr. Bradford? Yes. 360 00:26:12,530 --> 00:26:17,190 I'm John Sampson, bail bondsman. Though a few more nights like tonight, I'm 361 00:26:17,190 --> 00:26:19,570 going to try wholesale dry goods. What a big nothing. 362 00:26:20,070 --> 00:26:24,050 Two B andDs, one DWI, and three BIs. 363 00:26:24,510 --> 00:26:25,510 No BLTs? 364 00:26:25,770 --> 00:26:29,990 You want a joke? I charge by the hour. Oh, no, no. Please, Mr. Sampson, this is 365 00:26:29,990 --> 00:26:33,170 not a joke. We have a problem here of disturbing the peace. 366 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,820 You're disturbing my peace if you got me out of bed for a lousy DP. 367 00:26:37,100 --> 00:26:39,260 Well, your ad did say any time, day or night. 368 00:26:39,460 --> 00:26:42,800 I exaggerate. And they've thrown in a nice, disorderly conduct, just for good 369 00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,100 measure. Oh, well, that's a little better. 370 00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,180 Okay, DP, DC, NP. 371 00:26:48,900 --> 00:26:50,660 NP. No problem. 372 00:26:52,380 --> 00:26:53,380 Four of them, right? 373 00:26:53,620 --> 00:27:00,620 Well, yes, on the DP and on the DC, there are five, but actually there are 374 00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:01,620 on the QT. 375 00:27:02,340 --> 00:27:03,340 Seven? 376 00:27:03,689 --> 00:27:05,970 How many people are we talking about? 377 00:27:06,610 --> 00:27:07,670 Well, don't look at me. 378 00:27:07,890 --> 00:27:09,830 The hole in the wall gang belongs to him. 379 00:27:10,670 --> 00:27:11,830 Mr. Bradford, please. 380 00:27:13,230 --> 00:27:14,230 Yes. 381 00:27:16,090 --> 00:27:17,090 Oh, thank you. 382 00:27:17,670 --> 00:27:22,730 Mr. Sampson. If you don't mind, I don't take shorthand. Oh, yeah. Listen, Mr. 383 00:27:22,850 --> 00:27:25,470 Sampson, I... Oh, gosh. I don't think we're going to be needing your services. 384 00:27:25,710 --> 00:27:29,170 The sergeant said that the court has decided to release the kids on their own 385 00:27:29,170 --> 00:27:30,170 recognizance. 386 00:27:33,419 --> 00:27:34,419 Sergeant, not me. 387 00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:40,120 Well, I'll go pick up the juvenile, then I'll meet you back at the hideout. 388 00:27:42,060 --> 00:27:43,060 Sergeant, sir. 389 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:52,360 I don't think it's so funny. 390 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,520 I've never been so embarrassed in all my life. 391 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,440 Juvenile, huh? 392 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,660 I was supposed to be in the big house. 393 00:28:01,450 --> 00:28:04,290 So next time you get busted, remember to bring your ID. 394 00:28:05,190 --> 00:28:06,690 You know what really bugs me? 395 00:28:07,050 --> 00:28:08,450 It's weird just starting to cook. 396 00:28:09,890 --> 00:28:12,670 Whoops, better put some more bread and water on. Sounds like the rest of the 397 00:28:12,670 --> 00:28:13,670 jailbirds are coming in. 398 00:28:14,710 --> 00:28:17,410 Hey, hard case, how'd you get out of the joint so fast? 399 00:28:17,710 --> 00:28:21,390 Listen, small fry, when you've done as much hard time as I have... Oh, I've 400 00:28:21,390 --> 00:28:25,490 in and out of this family so many times, they've got to sell with my name on it. 401 00:28:25,630 --> 00:28:27,510 All right, quiet down, all of you. 402 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,700 And when you stop laughing, maybe you'd like to hear what this immature, 403 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,420 inexcusable, terrible behavior is going to cost us. Here. 404 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:36,720 Item. The spectrum. 405 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,600 The spectrum neon light. 406 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,400 The chairs. The table. The microphone. 407 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,300 The speaker. The big glass mirror that used to hang up behind the bar. 408 00:28:45,540 --> 00:28:47,120 Oh, but, Dad, we didn't do that. 409 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,600 Item. 410 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,780 David's future. Do you know what, David? Do you know what you're charged with? 411 00:28:52,020 --> 00:28:54,800 Assault with a deadly weapon. Dad, that's stupid. Item. 412 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,540 Legal fees for all seven of you. 413 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:00,360 I don't know whether they charge by the person or by the offense, but either 414 00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,760 way, it's a very tidy sum. 415 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:06,140 Hey, wait a minute, Dad. I have a friend from school, absolutely brilliant. 416 00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:10,400 Passed the bar exam without ever even studying, Phi Beta Kappa, law review, 417 00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:11,279 whole works. 418 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,800 Look, I'm sure he'd give us a break on legal feastings. He's a good friend and 419 00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:15,800 so new and all. 420 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:16,839 Oh, how new? 421 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:17,840 Two weeks. 422 00:29:17,860 --> 00:29:21,380 Listen, the important thing is to have a lawyer when you go to court. Remember 423 00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:22,860 when I got arrested during the sit -in? 424 00:29:23,220 --> 00:29:24,360 Who forgets? 425 00:29:24,650 --> 00:29:28,430 The charges usually get reduced to something the judge can handle by just 426 00:29:28,430 --> 00:29:30,130 out a stiff fine and it's over. 427 00:29:30,350 --> 00:29:34,630 Oh, thanks, Mary. That's another thing. Item, stiff fines. Put the emphasis on 428 00:29:34,630 --> 00:29:38,850 stiff. And how come, Mary, of all the kids, you were charged with resisting 429 00:29:38,850 --> 00:29:39,850 arrest? 430 00:29:41,690 --> 00:29:44,770 Well, uh, I guess I'm having to die hard. 431 00:29:46,510 --> 00:29:48,030 I want to hear what happened. 432 00:29:48,310 --> 00:29:50,090 Not now, Nicholas. We'll tell you about it tomorrow. 433 00:29:50,530 --> 00:29:52,030 But it already is tomorrow. 434 00:29:52,570 --> 00:29:53,730 We said later, Nicholas. 435 00:29:55,310 --> 00:29:56,530 It's always later. 436 00:29:56,750 --> 00:29:58,790 I'm never included like anyone else. 437 00:29:59,170 --> 00:30:01,630 Oh, I wouldn't worry about that. Just stay yourself. 438 00:30:02,170 --> 00:30:03,190 You mean stay small? 439 00:30:03,670 --> 00:30:08,210 No, I mean, uh, don't change to be just, you know, just to be one of the mob. 440 00:30:08,590 --> 00:30:09,830 Stay Nicholas. 441 00:30:10,650 --> 00:30:11,930 Inside, where it counts. 442 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,000 got through one and a half versions before the fight broke out. 443 00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,940 Yeah, it was really something else. They were throwing tables all over the place 444 00:30:28,940 --> 00:30:31,200 and chairs and people and guys. 445 00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:32,479 Wait a second. 446 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,260 Jody, what's with all the papers? Hey, the newsboy has a sense of humor. Eight 447 00:30:36,260 --> 00:30:41,940 copies. Mail it out to Spectrum. Extra, extra. Read all about it. Hey, we made 448 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,380 the paper. What page? Eleven. 449 00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:44,720 Only page eleven? 450 00:30:45,200 --> 00:30:47,920 Yeah. Here it is, guys. Next to the last page. 451 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,280 Here it is. 452 00:30:51,150 --> 00:30:54,490 Melee at the Spectrum. A near riot broke out last night at the Spectrum, a 453 00:30:54,490 --> 00:30:55,950 country music club on North Main Street. 454 00:30:56,250 --> 00:30:59,990 Hey, what's with these people? I mean, we're in between club and garden news 455 00:30:59,990 --> 00:31:00,990 the obituaries. 456 00:31:01,430 --> 00:31:03,190 Better have a talk with your press agent, Tommy. 457 00:31:03,690 --> 00:31:04,690 Come on, you guys, there's more. 458 00:31:04,930 --> 00:31:08,950 Though several people were involved in the fracas, only one person, William 459 00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:11,290 Cody, 28, a truck driver, was injured. 460 00:31:11,710 --> 00:31:14,730 A spokesman for the Spectrum said the damages were in the neighborhood of $5 461 00:31:14,730 --> 00:31:16,350 ,000. Yeah. 462 00:31:17,230 --> 00:31:21,330 David Bradford, 23, one of the two Bradford brothers performing at the 463 00:31:21,330 --> 00:31:24,190 charged with assault, allegedly having hit Cody with his guitar. 464 00:31:25,270 --> 00:31:28,150 Bradford is the son of Tom Bradford, columnist for this paper. 465 00:31:28,630 --> 00:31:30,370 They didn't even mention my name. 466 00:31:31,930 --> 00:31:36,090 That's showbiz, kid, you know. I mean, one day you're a star, the next day they 467 00:31:36,090 --> 00:31:37,090 don't know who you are. 468 00:31:37,210 --> 00:31:38,350 Damn, what a rag. 469 00:31:38,790 --> 00:31:41,170 Hey, buddy, this rag happens to pay the bills. 470 00:31:41,470 --> 00:31:43,610 Hey, I wonder what's on Dad's column today. 471 00:31:45,030 --> 00:31:46,030 Here you go. 472 00:31:46,430 --> 00:31:47,430 On the last page. 473 00:31:49,050 --> 00:31:54,250 Ah, a capital idea by Tom Bradford. In light of the increasing violence in our 474 00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:58,310 present society, perhaps we should have a better look at capital punishment? 475 00:31:59,890 --> 00:32:02,050 Good timing, Dad. Hits it every time. 476 00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:08,790 Could you guys come downstairs? 477 00:32:10,790 --> 00:32:13,210 Chuck, this is Joni and Nancy. 478 00:32:13,490 --> 00:32:15,490 Actress, beauty expert. And David. 479 00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,060 Ah, ADW. 480 00:32:17,660 --> 00:32:18,660 Ah, okay. 481 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:23,240 Susan. The ringleader threw the first punch, right? Yeah, well, I was mad. 482 00:32:23,580 --> 00:32:26,100 Now, I'm bound by oath to tell you that violence is never a way to settle 483 00:32:26,100 --> 00:32:28,340 problems. Yeah, but that drunk... Do you understand what I said? 484 00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,380 Yeah, but... Good, fine. Let's get on with it. 485 00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:32,580 All right, my plan is simple. Attack. 486 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,460 We're going to fill the air with legalities and the court with subpoenas. 487 00:32:35,740 --> 00:32:39,140 We're going to start by suing the Spectrum for not adequately protecting 488 00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:40,140 employees and patrons. 489 00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:43,380 We're going to find that heckler, and we're going to request the court to 490 00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:44,480 him with inciting to riot. 491 00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:46,640 Maybe I can get a change of venue. 492 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,780 Chuck, what can I expect in the ADW? 493 00:32:48,980 --> 00:32:52,140 Oh, I am really looking forward to fighting that one. Now, I need to know 494 00:32:52,140 --> 00:32:55,520 whether the guy you hit provoked you or threatened you in any manner whatever. 495 00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:58,260 Oh, no, no, no. Wait a minute. David didn't hit anybody. 496 00:33:00,460 --> 00:33:01,860 Do you have any witnesses to that effect? 497 00:33:05,260 --> 00:33:07,680 Oh, we can plea bargain that charge down to simple assault. 498 00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:09,940 Simple assault. I didn't hit anybody. 499 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:11,440 Tell it to the judge. 500 00:33:14,410 --> 00:33:16,390 Don't tell me you're... Nicholas. 501 00:33:16,770 --> 00:33:18,110 Right, the one that wasn't arrested. 502 00:33:18,490 --> 00:33:20,010 Yeah. Can I talk to you? 503 00:33:20,330 --> 00:33:22,990 Sure. What's the best way to get arrested? 504 00:33:23,310 --> 00:33:24,310 And beat the charge? 505 00:33:24,510 --> 00:33:25,890 No. And then go to jail. 506 00:33:33,750 --> 00:33:36,890 When I was younger, things seemed to be a lot simpler. 507 00:33:38,450 --> 00:33:40,050 It's going to be one of those kind of articles, huh? 508 00:33:40,250 --> 00:33:41,250 One crummy week. 509 00:33:42,640 --> 00:33:45,700 Is your final word on the subject, or do you want to try for ten days? What are 510 00:33:45,700 --> 00:33:46,700 you talking about? 511 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:48,460 Maybe the faintest idea. 512 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:50,220 What are you talking about? 513 00:33:50,420 --> 00:33:54,520 I finally got out from under for one crummy week. No payments, no expenses. 514 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,840 The house is finally completely mine, and now tomorrow I have to go to the 515 00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:58,960 and borrow $5 ,000. 516 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,960 Is that going to cover court costs, too? 517 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,400 Court costs? 518 00:34:04,860 --> 00:34:05,860 What time is it? 519 00:34:06,180 --> 00:34:08,320 I have to see the city attorney at 11 o 'clock. 520 00:34:08,679 --> 00:34:10,980 What's he want? I don't know what he wants. He probably wants to give me a 521 00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:14,159 special award for having the most kids in jail over a 24 -hour period. 522 00:34:14,460 --> 00:34:16,340 Yeah, the Nobel Disturbing the Peace Prize. 523 00:34:30,159 --> 00:34:33,199 For openers, let me tell you that I'm prejudiced in this case. Oh? 524 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:34,400 Yeah, in your favor. 525 00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:39,210 Oh. Over the years that I've read your columns, I've come to feel that I know 526 00:34:39,210 --> 00:34:40,750 you and your family to some extent. 527 00:34:40,969 --> 00:34:45,170 That piece that you did on wanting to resign as a father, that really hit 528 00:34:45,690 --> 00:34:49,810 Thank you. So I'm not about to make a reputation for myself as a fearless 529 00:34:49,810 --> 00:34:52,389 prosecutor by sending your family to various institutions. 530 00:34:52,810 --> 00:34:57,230 That's very nice, Mr. Wicks. Okay, so why don't you speak to the owner of the 531 00:34:57,230 --> 00:35:00,910 spectrum and see if you can get him to drop the charges. You tell him it's all 532 00:35:00,910 --> 00:35:01,788 right with me. 533 00:35:01,790 --> 00:35:05,330 Between you and me, I think that the spectrum enjoys a fight or two 534 00:35:05,330 --> 00:35:07,430 periodically. It gives the place a reputation. 535 00:35:07,870 --> 00:35:11,290 Oh, that's very nice of you, Mr. Wicks. Thank you. I'll go over and see him 536 00:35:11,290 --> 00:35:12,290 right now. 537 00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:15,870 Oh, does that include the ADW? 538 00:35:17,190 --> 00:35:18,190 That's a different matter. 539 00:35:18,630 --> 00:35:21,010 The guy who's pressing that charge is pretty sore. 540 00:35:21,550 --> 00:35:22,550 Excuse the pun. 541 00:35:22,570 --> 00:35:26,450 No, but you see, David swears he never hit anyone. I believe him, too. He 542 00:35:26,450 --> 00:35:29,070 wouldn't lie to me. Not about something like that. Those are nice sentiments, 543 00:35:29,250 --> 00:35:31,170 Mr. Bradford, but they're not worth a thing in court. 544 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:34,380 Now, look, I've got a broken guitar. 545 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:37,980 I've got a guy with a lump on his head. Now, that's pretty incriminating stuff. 546 00:35:38,720 --> 00:35:42,500 Now, whether I like it or not, I'm going to have to prosecute your son based on 547 00:35:42,500 --> 00:35:43,500 those charges. 548 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:45,220 Oh, I see. 549 00:35:46,140 --> 00:35:48,400 Well, then I guess I'll see you in court. 550 00:35:56,300 --> 00:36:00,340 The way I blew that exam, insane. 551 00:36:01,580 --> 00:36:05,500 Yeah, well, actually, the exam should be the least of your problems. I knew it 552 00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:09,240 the minute I walked out of that test. First of all, I hadn't studied. I wasn't 553 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:10,240 prepared. 554 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:14,620 I figured with all the experience I had had in construction, I could just wing 555 00:36:14,620 --> 00:36:19,260 it. Yeah, I see. But it's not going to happen next time because the community 556 00:36:19,260 --> 00:36:21,280 college has a course that prepares you for the test. 557 00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:22,698 I've enrolled. 558 00:36:22,700 --> 00:36:23,700 I start next week. 559 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:25,820 Oh, well, that's just fine, David. 560 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,500 But you better make sure that you can take this as a correspondence course. 561 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:33,400 I just left the city attorney. He said that if you're convicted of this assault 562 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,060 charge, there's a very good chance you might wind up in jail. 563 00:36:40,780 --> 00:36:47,780 Do you know that the interest 564 00:36:47,780 --> 00:36:50,080 rates are three times what they were when I bought the house? 565 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,100 Three times. And they act like you're so lucky to get it. 566 00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,680 I had this appraiser coming over to the house later to see if the house was 567 00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:57,740 worth $5 ,000. 568 00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:01,780 The house is worth ten times that much. 569 00:37:03,180 --> 00:37:04,760 I give better interest rates. 570 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:06,440 Huh? 571 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:11,660 You know, between my teacher's salary and my pension as an Air Force widow, I 572 00:37:11,660 --> 00:37:15,240 have enough money in my savings to lend you the entire $5 ,000. 573 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:16,680 I couldn't do that. 574 00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:18,420 I don't understand. 575 00:37:19,260 --> 00:37:23,380 Well, I mean, it would be... It could destroy a friendship. 576 00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:27,120 Borrowing and lending is big business, and I wouldn't want our friendship to 577 00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,720 be... supported with a burden like that. 578 00:37:29,980 --> 00:37:34,060 You didn't seem very burdened when you landed on Nicholas's hotel and needed $5 579 00:37:34,060 --> 00:37:37,400 ,000. Come on, Abby, we're not talking about play money. 580 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:39,760 You shouldn't lend friends money. 581 00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:43,200 I mean, you either give it to them and don't expect to get it back, or you just 582 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:44,200 don't offer it. 583 00:37:45,740 --> 00:37:47,500 Okay, I'll give it to you. 584 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:48,880 I can't take it. 585 00:37:49,380 --> 00:37:53,380 But you just said... I know what I said, but I can't take money from a woman. 586 00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:54,640 A woman? 587 00:37:54,920 --> 00:38:00,180 Oh, all the old -fashioned, male -dominating, role -playing, pig 588 00:38:00,180 --> 00:38:03,780 Guilty as charged, but I've been old -fashioned for a long time. 589 00:38:04,020 --> 00:38:05,580 So why change a good thing, right? 590 00:38:06,460 --> 00:38:11,320 I can change, it's just that changes don't come easily to me. 591 00:38:11,860 --> 00:38:14,000 This last year's been nothing but changes. 592 00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:19,080 But I'm trying, especially now that we're together, but... 593 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:24,980 Look, just let me try to get my family out of trouble, and then we'll start to 594 00:38:24,980 --> 00:38:26,100 work on my pigheadedness. 595 00:38:28,180 --> 00:38:29,200 Okay, fair enough. 596 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:38,100 You know, I don't see how, after that little speech, that you can allow me to 597 00:38:38,100 --> 00:38:39,100 pay this bill. 598 00:38:39,340 --> 00:38:42,140 Well, this might be a good time to stop being pigheaded. 599 00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:47,120 Nancy, what's the best way to get arrested? 600 00:38:47,950 --> 00:38:51,090 I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how to see the Stevie Wonder 601 00:38:51,090 --> 00:38:54,250 concert without you. I'm talking about me. How can I get arrested? 602 00:38:54,750 --> 00:38:57,150 Why would you want to know something as tacky as that? 603 00:38:58,330 --> 00:39:01,310 For school, for charity events, for a report. 604 00:39:02,210 --> 00:39:03,210 Weird. 605 00:39:04,590 --> 00:39:05,408 Let's see. 606 00:39:05,410 --> 00:39:08,270 Oil shortage, power shortage, water shortage. 607 00:39:09,330 --> 00:39:10,330 Here's one. 608 00:39:10,650 --> 00:39:12,570 How would you like to be a cat burglar, Nicholas? 609 00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:16,850 Thanks, Nancy. 610 00:39:16,890 --> 00:39:17,890 It's okay. 611 00:39:18,470 --> 00:39:20,670 Boy, school sure has changed. 612 00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:23,570 Whatever happened to Run Spot Run? 613 00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,420 You stay here and be good. 614 00:39:58,840 --> 00:39:59,960 You can take a nap. 615 00:40:00,300 --> 00:40:01,740 I'll be back in a little while. 616 00:40:16,100 --> 00:40:20,320 Next thing I know, I'm laying flat on my back looking up. 617 00:40:21,240 --> 00:40:25,060 I'm telling you, Ardovia, I ain't never been blindsided like that before. 618 00:40:25,420 --> 00:40:27,000 And you never even saw the guy? 619 00:40:27,310 --> 00:40:28,470 No, I never did. 620 00:40:29,330 --> 00:40:30,330 But I got his name. 621 00:40:31,030 --> 00:40:33,550 And if I ever do see him, I'm going to rip one of his arms off. 622 00:40:34,670 --> 00:40:37,810 My name's David Bradford, and I'm looking for Buff Cody. 623 00:40:45,890 --> 00:40:48,350 Hey, take it easy, mister. You better make peace with the Lord, because I'm 624 00:40:48,350 --> 00:40:50,790 fixing to rearrange your face. Hey, wait a minute. I just came in to talk to 625 00:40:50,790 --> 00:40:51,609 you. 626 00:40:51,610 --> 00:40:53,290 You're making a big mistake. I never hit you. 627 00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:56,280 Oh, you never did, huh? You never did. Then how come the first thing I saw when 628 00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:59,020 I woke up was you standing over me with a busted guitar in your hands? 629 00:40:59,380 --> 00:41:02,340 The reason I was standing over you was to keep the mob from trampling you. 630 00:41:02,900 --> 00:41:04,760 As for the guitar, somebody put their foot through it. 631 00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:09,260 Do you see that? Do you see that, mister? That's what busted your dang 632 00:41:10,040 --> 00:41:11,040 Where'd you get the black eye? 633 00:41:12,380 --> 00:41:13,380 When I fell. 634 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,280 Well, ever think it could have been the other way around? 635 00:41:15,820 --> 00:41:18,420 You know, somebody popped you in the eye, you're blindsided, and you hit your 636 00:41:18,420 --> 00:41:19,420 head when you fell. 637 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:23,240 Because all that's over there is just a little bitty old red -headed girl 638 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:24,540 hollering at that loudmouth drunk. 639 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,120 Redhead? That's right. 640 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:34,320 Well, isn't it possible that the redhead might have, uh... You think that's 641 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:35,320 funny? 642 00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:39,200 You insinuating I might have got dicked by a girl? 643 00:41:39,620 --> 00:41:40,620 No. 644 00:41:40,820 --> 00:41:43,600 Look, I'm appealing to your sense of fair play. 645 00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:48,740 You have nothing to lose, and at the moment I have everything to gain. 646 00:41:54,220 --> 00:41:55,220 What you got in mind? 647 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,000 I just think there's someone you ought to meet. 648 00:42:02,860 --> 00:42:03,860 It's in the garage. 649 00:42:04,060 --> 00:42:04,678 What is? 650 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:05,519 The cat. 651 00:42:05,520 --> 00:42:09,320 After I burglarized it, I put it in the garage. I'm a cat burglar. 652 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,180 Oh, and I fit it some milk. 653 00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:15,200 Thirty days till I retire and I get Dennis the Menace. 654 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:16,660 My name's Nicholas. 655 00:42:17,380 --> 00:42:20,180 Aren't you gonna make me stand over the wall so you can fist me? 656 00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:21,860 No. 657 00:42:22,420 --> 00:42:24,610 Oh. You're just going to toss me in the cooler? 658 00:42:25,450 --> 00:42:27,250 Aren't you even going to give me my rights? 659 00:42:27,710 --> 00:42:28,870 The answer is no. 660 00:42:30,770 --> 00:42:33,090 Kid, why are you so anxious to go to the joint? 661 00:42:33,350 --> 00:42:34,790 Believe me, it ain't Disneyland. 662 00:42:35,710 --> 00:42:36,710 Come on, kid. 663 00:42:36,870 --> 00:42:37,870 Come clean. 664 00:42:37,970 --> 00:42:38,970 I'll make you a deal. 665 00:42:39,250 --> 00:42:41,610 Tell me the truth, and I'll go easy with you. 666 00:42:42,630 --> 00:42:44,230 Why did you steal the cat? 667 00:42:44,790 --> 00:42:47,190 So I can be like all my brothers and sisters. 668 00:42:48,350 --> 00:42:49,910 Your brothers and sisters steal cats? 669 00:42:50,390 --> 00:42:51,930 No, they've all been arrested. 670 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,200 And I'm the only one in the whole family that's never been arrested. 671 00:42:55,660 --> 00:42:58,920 Well, that's something to be proud of. You're the only one with a clean record. 672 00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:05,440 Okay. 673 00:43:10,820 --> 00:43:11,880 Stick out your mitts. 674 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,660 Your hands, kid. Stick out your hands. 675 00:43:17,700 --> 00:43:19,060 You have the right to remain silent. 676 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:20,600 You have the right to an attorney. 677 00:43:21,150 --> 00:43:23,410 Cannot afford an attorney. One will be provided by the court. 678 00:43:30,110 --> 00:43:31,110 No, kid. 679 00:43:31,250 --> 00:43:32,250 Don't smile. 680 00:43:37,910 --> 00:43:38,910 Well, 681 00:43:46,110 --> 00:43:47,110 watch your step, kid. 682 00:43:47,250 --> 00:43:48,410 You got a record now. 683 00:43:48,790 --> 00:43:49,790 Yep. 684 00:43:52,460 --> 00:43:53,680 Now you go to jail. 685 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:14,300 The West better be good. You'll see. 686 00:44:16,740 --> 00:44:20,220 I just want you to meet this little bitty redhead. 687 00:44:20,600 --> 00:44:23,000 Listen, I know where you're coming from, Betty, but you're way off base. 688 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,040 Won't hurt to try, will it? 689 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:26,360 Won't hurt me. 690 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,220 Nancy, Mary. This is Cody. Cody, Mary, Nancy. 691 00:44:32,220 --> 00:44:33,800 Yeah? Well, them ain't the girls. 692 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:35,200 I know. 693 00:44:40,460 --> 00:44:41,460 Oh, excuse me. 694 00:44:41,740 --> 00:44:42,740 Hiya, David. 695 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,480 That's the bank appraiser. 696 00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:49,860 Hi, David. How's it work? Been better. Joni, Elizabeth, this is Buff Cody. 697 00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:51,380 Them ain't the girls either. 698 00:44:51,720 --> 00:44:54,380 Gee, what is this, David? Some kind of talent search? 699 00:44:55,340 --> 00:44:58,880 David, do you remember the square footage on this house? 700 00:44:59,340 --> 00:45:00,340 Wait a minute, let me think. 701 00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:02,420 Hello, I'm David's father. 702 00:45:02,740 --> 00:45:03,880 This is Mr. Salmon. 703 00:45:04,540 --> 00:45:07,080 Oh, there, he didn't come down. 3 ,500 square feet? 704 00:45:07,620 --> 00:45:10,100 No, wait, that might be the house we're building out in Elmcrest. 705 00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:11,520 Where's Susan? 706 00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:13,300 Susan, I think she's in the kitchen. Susan! 707 00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:18,640 I know this is getting a little nutty, but... Anybody know where this cat came 708 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:20,040 from? Hey, now, wait a minute there now. 709 00:45:20,740 --> 00:45:22,540 That is the girl I seen the other night. 710 00:45:22,940 --> 00:45:23,940 Right. 711 00:45:24,020 --> 00:45:27,840 Susan, this is Buff Cody, the man accusing me of assault with a deadly 712 00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:31,160 Buff, my sister, the little Billy Redhead. 713 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:36,080 Now, just bear with me and don't ask any questions, all right? Give me the cat. 714 00:45:36,220 --> 00:45:37,220 Careful. 715 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:39,400 Now, you just stay there, Buff. 716 00:45:39,660 --> 00:45:40,660 All right, 717 00:45:41,620 --> 00:45:44,640 Susan, we're going to pretend we're back at the Spectrum, and I'm the drunk 718 00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:45,780 insulting me up on the stage. 719 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:47,980 Okay, now what do you do? Lead with my right. 720 00:45:48,320 --> 00:45:49,320 Lead. 721 00:45:49,420 --> 00:45:50,840 David, I'm not going to hit you. 722 00:45:51,220 --> 00:45:52,920 Susan, it's either you or him. 723 00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:54,980 Come on, what are you trying to pull here, buddy? 724 00:45:55,300 --> 00:45:57,260 Buff, I guarantee it, you'll live through this. 725 00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:59,120 All right, give me your best shot. 726 00:45:59,700 --> 00:46:00,700 Okay. 727 00:46:06,020 --> 00:46:07,760 Pretty mean little rat you got there, darling. 728 00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:10,820 I, uh, rest my case. 729 00:46:11,180 --> 00:46:14,100 But I wasn't aiming at you, I was aiming at David. I mean, I was aiming at the 730 00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:15,240 drunk who was making all the noise. 731 00:46:17,350 --> 00:46:19,870 You're not... Oh, yeah, I am. 732 00:46:20,090 --> 00:46:21,090 You are? 733 00:46:21,270 --> 00:46:22,970 I guess I missed. 734 00:46:23,630 --> 00:46:27,250 I mean, or maybe he ducked and you got in the way? 735 00:46:28,990 --> 00:46:31,110 Or maybe you leaned in? 736 00:46:33,150 --> 00:46:35,310 Heck, I don't know. I had my eyes closed. 737 00:46:35,730 --> 00:46:37,230 It's a bad -looking eye. 738 00:46:39,990 --> 00:46:40,990 I'm sorry. 739 00:46:42,830 --> 00:46:44,510 I guess you made your case, buddy. 740 00:46:45,700 --> 00:46:46,700 I'll drop the charges. 741 00:46:47,340 --> 00:46:49,440 You don't happen to get off on samurai movies, do you? 742 00:46:49,820 --> 00:46:50,820 Pardon me. 743 00:46:50,940 --> 00:46:53,080 Well, thank you for coming by, Mr. 744 00:46:53,300 --> 00:46:56,500 Salomon. No, it's a commotion. What commotion? I got it. 745 00:46:58,480 --> 00:47:01,180 Hello? Oh, my gosh, what happened to your eye? 746 00:47:01,460 --> 00:47:03,460 Dad, it's the police station. 747 00:47:03,900 --> 00:47:05,420 They say they have one of your kids there. 748 00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:06,820 Oh, no, not again. 749 00:47:09,620 --> 00:47:11,340 This time they've got the wrong Bradford. 750 00:47:11,820 --> 00:47:13,740 Dad, it's Nicola. 751 00:47:14,060 --> 00:47:15,060 Oh, it's Nicola. 752 00:47:15,470 --> 00:47:16,470 Nicholas? 753 00:47:16,710 --> 00:47:17,710 Oh, yeah. 754 00:47:25,550 --> 00:47:29,190 So, then they were going to lock me up, but they didn't ever hear from my side. 755 00:47:29,550 --> 00:47:31,410 So, that's when they called you. 756 00:47:31,950 --> 00:47:35,050 Well, you know, Nicholas, you can always go back when you get bigger. 757 00:47:35,790 --> 00:47:38,410 Oh, no way. They don't have television there. 758 00:47:38,970 --> 00:47:40,250 Thank goodness for television. 759 00:47:40,730 --> 00:47:41,930 Hey, Dad. Dad. 760 00:47:42,310 --> 00:47:44,310 David and I wrote some new lyrics to this song. 761 00:47:44,690 --> 00:47:45,690 Mm -hmm. 762 00:47:48,049 --> 00:47:53,410 11 .5 % per annum plus, carrying charges, home insurance, taxes... Out! 763 00:47:54,430 --> 00:47:55,430 Out! 764 00:47:59,230 --> 00:48:04,990 Are they playing at the Elks Club again? Yeah, they're trying desperately to get 765 00:48:04,990 --> 00:48:08,670 that note paid off before the end of the year. Excuse me, the two young men they 766 00:48:08,670 --> 00:48:09,670 told me to come in. 767 00:48:09,850 --> 00:48:11,250 I'm Mr. Simon Anowski. 768 00:48:11,740 --> 00:48:13,700 Oh, yes, of course, the man from the bank. 769 00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:15,440 Abby, I want you to meet Mr. 770 00:48:15,760 --> 00:48:17,440 Samovar. How do you do? 771 00:48:19,100 --> 00:48:20,580 Look, we have a little problem here. 772 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:25,640 You've listed 12 rooms in this house, but according to my list, there's only 773 00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:27,480 Really? 774 00:48:27,760 --> 00:48:28,760 That's funny. 775 00:48:29,700 --> 00:48:30,700 Well, no. 776 00:48:31,260 --> 00:48:33,320 Huh, that's funny. I'd better go check. 777 00:48:37,140 --> 00:48:39,800 Did you count the bathrooms? 778 00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,240 So, Nicholas, do you still feel left out? 779 00:48:45,540 --> 00:48:49,180 No, but that's it. I always have to remember I'm an important part of the 780 00:48:49,180 --> 00:48:52,880 family. But sometimes I get... Overlooked. 781 00:48:53,180 --> 00:48:55,040 Yeah, well, that's the word. 782 00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:57,000 Did you count the laundry room? 783 00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:58,320 Yes. 784 00:49:00,140 --> 00:49:03,300 You won't believe this. Now we can only find ten rooms. 785 00:49:03,940 --> 00:49:05,060 Somebody took one. 786 00:49:08,580 --> 00:49:10,580 Don't look at me. I didn't take one. 787 00:49:11,890 --> 00:49:14,850 Boy, get a record and everybody will pick on you.